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Bacause of the recent influence from The Solitaire's Mystery, i start to doubt the sentence that i usually over-use:
"I'm loving life."
And that is because I'm starting to doubt my belief (see the paradox) in that i'm actually leading a "life".
How should i put it?
The book continually reiterates that someone who truly feels his/her senses tingling, her limbs moving should be one who marvels at the world's and his/her existence in this world.
Despite consciously reminding myself to remind myself of my own unusual existence on this planet, i unconsciously wake up every morning feeling just how i have been feeling these past years. There were no notion of weird disbelief that i actually woke up to this world that im a total stranger to.
I guess that's what you call assimilation into reality. (But what is reality?) I work the functions of every normal human, such that i've lost that most important function: to question the details and the unthinkable, and most importantly, to question my own existence.
No doubt this blog entry would be a huge reminder on my consciousness to register the fact that i should start waking up to new realities every morning. But...But i know i'll wake up tomorrow the way i woke up today
finished rambling
12:26 AM <3